My name is Sanya Rubinstein.
I was born in the city of Mitinsk near Moscow.
They say I was lucky with my parents
they loved me very much.
Sorry I do not remember them, because that they died in an accident,
when I was very young.
It happens.
Therefore from 6 years old me raised my uncle and aunt.
Aunt Raya was bright and very charismatic woman.
Sasha, my boy,
Why are you diving into the dry closet?
Do you want to become a cesspool worker
and prosrait all their prospects ?!
For all her intelligence.
You're from a good family!
Who are you such an asshole?
Aunt after word did not climb into her pocket.
Uncle Kolya was the director of the Mitinsky Youth Theater.
He was completely surrendered amateur art
and dreamed of making me an artist.
I did not live up to expectations uncles and graduated theatrical
ahead of schedule: On the second course for smoking weed.
But acting skills did come in handy
because Moscow is a theater.
And the main roles in this theater
Muscovites perform.
So, let's go in order.
I am a con man. This is one of the most
common professions of our capital.
Like most Muscovites,
my income is direct Depends on the price of oil.
At a price of $ 120 per barrel, I flew
to the Canaries, versed in foie gras,
drowned in expensive wine and gorgeous smelling women.
Today they give 45 per barrel.
I switched to semi-sweet Moldavian,
which goes well with potato chips
in the stinking Khrushchev.
Women, by the way, also began to smell.
much worse.
- Great! - Great, Lech!
What, are you stealing cars again?
Yes ass, the crisis has hooked specifically.
And don’t say the Curche is already on Weekend with the family does not fly.
Yes, what is the Curse? Resorts Krasnodar Territory is our future.
Spit!
Another 180 thousand.
I took them for 5 thousand bucks
I give you half the price.
- Fake? - Real
not that your daub.
In my field to me had to play hundreds of roles
from brother to prosecutor
from young gigolo to my own aunt Rai.
I am the king of reincarnation, therefore
In Moscow, I am known as Sanya Transformer.
It’s easy to confuse: I emphasize again
not a transvestite, but a transformer.
Well, dear gentlemen,
the authenticity of this picture does not cause I have not the slightest doubt.
Yes, this is truly a Shipwreck. brushes of the great Aivazovsky.
I am in shock.
See what the master does.
The colors are barely noticeable, thin
layer in the sky
and a fat "tasty" smear in bright places
and glare on the water.
Ivan Konstantinovich, is that really you?
Aivazovsky often used a brush
horsehair.
Come here come please come closer.
Take a look!
Adhering horsehair
rolled up in paint.
Come on, why are you soaring to me here. Hair is like hair.
I could be the same from the ass to take out and also roll up.
Listen, Vic, are you sure that can this informal be trusted?
Sergey Markovich is a member of the top ten best experts in Moscow.
He assured all early Chagall of Luzhkov.
Well, actually, yes,
Any bullshit would not have called for a meadow.
Any bullshit is not included expert advice
auction Christie, and I, by the way,
I enter.
Mikhail Petrovich, do not worry,
if something doesn’t suit you,
I will instantly find a new customer.
Okay. Okay, artisan.
Well, why are you tensed ?! I believe you, I believe!
Everything, I take this picture as a gift,
Armenian one, Karina.
My lover, lives in California.
All these Kardashians compared to her -
this is a flock of fat ass hippos.
Well, in short, my Karina -
she is a fan of Aivazovsky.
Do you know what she says?
That he had Armenian roots.
As I know, Aivazovsky wore natively
Russian name is Ivan.
Well, count up
and Karishka swears that Do you know his name?
Vano Ayvazyan!
Women are my weakness
and corrupt women are my curse.
I, apparently, have not yet earned others.
I go through karmic practice along the way.
Although I can’t understand - for what?
Nothing bad good I haven’t done anything to people yet.
However, as good - bad.
You bastard!
Ah, you are a fool!
Who's there?
Where is the suitcase?
Guys, there’s no more suitcase. Everything is in the backpack.
Where is the backpack?
In the closet, there, on the bottom shelf.
Here he is.
What is it?
In the sense? This is a million dollars.
Put it in your ass! Nose
where is the suitcase, I ask?
Found!
Do you need this guys?
Yes take away of course I forgot about him at all.
Take it away!
I'm sorry dude
you are a potential witness.
Fak!
Where is the suitcase?
Guys, are you looking for this one too?
Are you a moron?
Where's the suitcase with the dough that did we give you a picture?
Telephone! You are welcome!
Thank!
Bitch, one day expired!
Bitch, bitch, for one day!
Shaitan!
Hello!
I'm getting married!
For whom?
- For Lavrenov. - For Lavrika?
He used to be Lavrik,
and now he is the mayor of the city
and if he finds out you came,
he will tear my head off.
Do you think he remembers me? 15 years have passed!
Do you remember then with Lyuska Zaitseva cheated on me?
You’re a beast, and he then offered to marry her,
by the way!
If he finds out you came,
it turns out that you have him you want to take away the second bride!
Yes, I didn’t take any Lyuska from him.
Well, kissed there on at the bar, in a drunken stupor ...
A blowjob
behind the bar
in a flash - does not count?
And the month of kama, su **, sutras
on her hut while her ancestors did you go to Altai?
Sorry!
By the way, I remembered you recently, really
I'm not going to take you anywhere!
But the cha will not work -
I love Lavrika. Although he’s married for now,
but we will fix it.
Especially! You see how good! Mash,
Masha, I need to get down urgently from the country, otherwise I’m fired!
Two days as past due.
Do you quickly and so as not to light up?
He’s not going to take me away from here,
bastard!
Come back in 4 business days.
Adore you!
Remember, honey, how we met
you walked me home
we promised to love each other
and the moon smiled at us.
I'm not jealous of you
I don’t care now
that you love another.
For the eyes, for the eyes are blue
I don’t love you anymore.
Good day! I ask you to,
Lily Palna, what?
Nothing, disband us.
After the celebration of City Day.
The final decision of the administration.
No, no, don’t disband, I get such a concert
on City Day for Moscow stars, they all get fucked there.
Well, who needs your work? Well, what are you as a child?
You don’t see something, a tidbit.
Yes, here you can shave off anything. Look, you want a hotel,
you want - in a hotel brothel.
Your speech will be parting.
No, die, so with music and two are desirable.
Oh, Nikolai Petrovich, here with Only die with your music.
Well, change the repertoire. And who is on the jury?
Kirkorov ...
- This one? - This one, yes.
Ah, got it.
You know, when I'm with you,
I just have a youth fountain sharashit
and the chakras open
into the space.
I’ll torture such a show,
what are my old people they have a cardiogram Lezginka will be easy to dance!
What are you talking about ?!
Lord, are you crazy or something, well ?!
Well, what are the chakras ?! What a cosmos ?!
Nikolai Petrovich, I'm married!
Husband separately, flies separately,
and love - separately!
Oh, you are like that, baby you
adult.
I’ll go completely crazy with you.
Not a baby, but a womanizer!
Sanya!
- Uncle Kohl! - Sasha!
- Uncle! Little ring! - The tribe is my dear!
Uncle! Little ring!
My good!
Listen, come on tell me what happened.
And why did it happen right away?
Maybe I just came to visit my uncle,
who raised me as a son.
Intelligent, fair.
Good and disinterested person.
Well, not really, of course ...
A brilliant director in the end!
Listen, judging by the abundance compliments are you in a serious asshole.
Yes, Sanya, if on this flash drive
real compromising evidence on big officials,
you are stopudov wanted.
And in the federal one. Now You are not Sanya Rubinstein.
And Jason Bourne.
Or Sanya Bornstein.
I have to lie down at the bottom, Uncle Kohl,
and you have a perfect place here.
The place is reliable. In this guesthouse
famous authority Korzhik
hid from the cops for a year.
So even FSB you I won’t guess here.
Raise it, dear.
So, come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on, come on ..
And not at all
we are not old
only the hair turned a little gray.
Yes, you're crazy, what are you!
Blow out your blizzards
will be again, will be again
drops. Come on dear!
Come on!
Then I'll climb!
Do not even think about it!
- Come here! - No, no, no, no, Hamlet!
Colonel! Give a little closer!
- Do not need higher! - I'll do it now!
Caution!
Back, back! Close it!
Customize yet, barely holding on already!
God be with them, with flowers!
Hold on, hold on tight!
Sanya! I also have a request for you!
I put the program on City Day.
Kirkorov goes to select groups.
Maybe the last chance.
I want to return to the big show business.
What show business is Uncle Kohl?
You have never been in it!
You’ve directed the YOUTH all your life,
and right now - you work in a nursing home.
Tribe! In real creativity
the scale of the incarnation is not important -
the scale of inspiration is important.
I have an old man sitting on stage
on a stool, and in the eyes the whole point of art
and take JAZZ stylish, fashionable, large-scale,
and in the eyes of one sex and lust.
And mine - and sex, and lust, and depth!
Uncle Kohl
Is there thyme in your seagull?
FSB. Do you know such a person?
His name is Sanya Rubinstein. Well, or Alexander.
And Nikolai Petrovich lives in
9 room in the second case, I can show.
Thank you, then we ourselves.
Generally the cuckoo went!
Go, go, go!
Nikolai Petrovich Rubinstein?
Yes I.
Your nephew is declared on the federal wanted list.
Do you have it?
I mean? He is in Moscow!
15 years not seen!
I completely forgot me, scoundrel!
Nothing sacred, but what have you done?
Farsing again, huh?
- Whose is this? - Mine.
- Uh, Nike? - Jordans.
Cool, huh?
- Where did you buy it? - On the Nike site, dot com.
Who's on the toilet?
Hello!
So what did you hatch, yield?
The door was shut, fucking pervert!
I'm sorry!
There is a woman!
Woman?
What kind of woman is she ?! Slut is local.
Nothing serious, just sex.
Healthy foreheads, but still there, peep!
Wife doesn’t show, come here,
I’m all for you.
Here is my business card, total good bye!
Until!
Fuh, it seems, has passed!
Mother of God!
Like?
You are still a talent since childhood!
You could be a great artist, Sanya.
And you all go crazy!
Uncle Kohl, where's the backpack?
Stunned!
Where is the backpack?
Well how could a million throw bucks out of a window ?!
Sanya, you're thankless I can tell you
life saved.
Why the hell am I doing such a life ?!
A blissful rogue like you, my dear uncle,
I'm not going to be.
Sanya, do not be fooled
don’t be fooled, took the money the one who lives here
and that means what?
And that means, uncle,
that now some kind of weak playboy
in pissing underpants
orders bungalows and heifers in the Seychelles.
And that means the money is still here!
Nikolai Petrovich!
Yes Yes?
Nikolai Petrovich, good evening!
Hello!
Here some people go, are you all right?
Yes, everything is amazing with us!
Wow!
Very nice to meet you. Sasha.
Hello. Lyuba.
Lily Palna, hello. Head of.
- Hello. - Nikolai Petrovich,
and who is this with us?
My sister, Alexandra Pavlovna Fishman,
came to visit me.
It’s strange.
Nikolai Petrovich,
You said you have no relatives?
Consolidated.
How many have we not seen? 40 years old?
Yes, at least go to Malakhov’s transfer!
Yes, the war has destroyed many families ...
What kind of war? Nikolai Petrovich, with whom?
With drunkenness.
He constantly wandered around with drunks,
when he was young.
And you said that you
from an intelligent family, Nikolai Petrovich?
So alcoholism according to the intelligentsia First of all, and banged!
Lily Palna,
is it possible Alexandra Palna will we stay a bit?
No, sorry, but ...
They robbed me on the train.
They took everything cleanly: Money,
documents, passports - that's it!
The main thing is a pitifully expensive ring, Count,
gave one boyfriend,
also sunk along with Wuiton's clutch.
Poor thing!
Count Clutch Vuitton.
This is your boyfriend's name, right?
No, the boyfriend was called Ashot ...
It’s not fate
don't close your eyes to me do not wash your little legs!
Why are you burying me? Just 10 years older!
An old woman swam!
Who did you call an old woman, an old fart?
Nikolai Petrovich, what are you so?
About your sister, look how beautiful she is!
- Wow! - A stately, bright woman.
Lyubonka, how nice!
Which are bright
sunny people work for you!
The eye just does not get enough!
Our manager is just a sex bomb!
Nikolai Petrovich, stop it!
All! Good! You persuaded me!
Alexandra Palna, stay
Moreover, they shut us down, so
Finally, we will do a good deed.
I'll pick you a room tomorrow, okay?
And I’ll bed to bed.
Thank you so much!
Yes, colorful characters!
Direct crew of the "Flying Dutchman",
also overgrown with shells.
I know them for a long time, all good, decent people.
Right now, someone among these decent
received a pension immediately in 200 years.
For example, this Rockefeller.
Wow, Petrovich!
I see new faces here,
Yes, so nice!
Can't you imagine?
Meet this is my sister - Alexandra Palna, and this is -
Anatoly Borisych.
For you, just Anatoly.
Madam, let me make an emergency landing
on your runway?
What a landing, Bessonov?
Well, he raised his longboats and sailed back to his harbor!
Who are you up against?
Believed in yourself, guardian?
Che, Valera Chkalov, hit the fuselage for you ?!
Go Go go! Put it in a parachute?
Rustling blades, I say!
Is he a pilot?
Hijacker. Bessonov, he is Bes.
He served 30 years. Safes clicks like seeds.
From loud sounds, he loses consciousness. By the way
he liked you.
Hello!
Are you here by chance?
did not see?
I always scare our sister Tonka.
Well, scare your Tonka! Me something what did you do wrong, granny ?!
What a surprise!
What are the fates?
Something seized my heart.
The main thing I went in, but no one!
I am looking for medicines, you have randomly
or valokardinchika not found?
What medications are there!
I can offer you a glass of young wine.
Of course not so young
how are you, Alexandra!
I'm sorry, but I do not drink wine.
I then run from him to the toilet all night.
And let's run this marathon together, m?
Oh you
me too, monument found a pissing boy!
At your age!
Are we already on you?
Did the ice break along?
You watch a quiet hour, don’t miss, Grandpa!
The ice has broken off!
What a woman!
Valkyrie!
- Hello! - Hello!
Stand!
No damn grandmother gives himself!
Obviously a parkour!
Valim, Valim, Valim!
Hey pimples goats
you did not find a similar backpack in the bushes?
No, grandmother, they didn’t. This is mine, school.
Listen to me carefully thieves beginners
draw here again I'll rip your ass!
- I see? - OK OK.
I found my grandmother!
And which mattresses do you like more?
Soft or hard?
I actually love it when it's tougher.
Oh, yes?
You will definitely like this one!
This one will definitely like it. I already dream of sleeping on it.
Well, if you need something -
tea, coffee or just loose ears -
you have a button here, you press it
and you are calling me.
This will be my favorite button!
How funny you are!
Ah, I also wanted to warn you,
you have a neighbor, she’s a little strange.
She has amnesia. She forgets everything
but you do not pay attention, okay?
- Good. - Well, bye!
Che, old?
You yourself are old. Where is Lyuba?
Today is my shift. Che can not sleep?
A neighbor snores.
Say thank you for not walking in a dream like some, and don’t overdo it.
Press the button again, I’ll break my finger.
I won’t bother you anymore.
Go back to your abyss, Satan!
Hey you, shmara highlighted,
now you have a laxative mix with sleeping pills
an enema in the morning, in the morning itself Will you launder, understand?
I got it!
Do not fall, remember everything!
Who are you?
Hey, you forgot that owe me 100 rubles?
You probably don’t remember that I borrowed 100 rubles.
That's always like that! Spoke for three days, for three days,
already a week has passed, how do I borrowed a hundred rubles, come on!
It’s good that I’m a neighbor!
If there was another, it would have become rich!
I took 300 rubles from you, I return it.
Goodnight!
I remember that you borrowed 300 rubles from me,
But did it return?
Once again!
One two three four!
Oh!
Oh! Sister!
- What? What happened? - Sister!
There is a woman!
Well, what's wrong with her? What?
What is she feeling bad?
- Not! It! It! - What woman?
- What about the woman? What with her? - Speak well!
I forgot…
Why are you shouting so, Lyubochka?
Am i screaming Yes, you to me shout down the whole corridor.
Lyubochka, you have hallucinations!
Woman, what are you on?
Hello, Masha, I'm Dubrovsky.
Mashul,
only this was the last time.
I think I fell in love.
In whom?
Her name is Lyuba, she is a nurse,
Such a kind, clean.
I never feel this way never experienced in life!
You bastard, of course, but I glad for you, it's high time.
Did you even call me on a date?
I can’t decide everything somehow.
It is evident, however, in love.
Usually arrogant,
start a date with sex.
Well, what's with the passport?
And trouble with the passport - you jumped!
Seriously serious people have taken on you!
I went to pick up ...
I went to take your passport to the head,
and there is pipets:
A bunch of cops, Lavrenov came from the city hall already,
everyone is considering your passport
and discuss something, moreover on the nervous everything is on the concrete.
I didn’t even go in there ...
So, where's your passport?
Lavernov took him to his mayor's office.
In short, Sanya, you are completely stuck.
Mashul, thank you for your help.
Come on, take care!
Grandma, I have for you commercial proposal.
I’ll explain everything now.
Guard! Homosexual!
Yes, Raisa Ivanna and a wig if you can.
Take it already, Mata Hari!
Wait for me, I will return You all in an hour.
Your boss is in no hurry come back from dinner ...
Loafers are all these officials, grabbers!
They steal, and then eat, eat,
when will they get drunk?
Michal Palych will come soon, grannies. Do not be nervous!
You want, I can pour you valerianochki,
so you don’t worry?
Yes, we are the whole country already sitting on this valerian
only we all the same somehow are not calm.
Your valerian is no longer channeling
our authorities on us heroin must be translated!
Fine.
Mikhail Pavlovich, and today who will you have dinner with?
I do not know.
Well, not with my wife?
Well, well, well,
and who is it hiding there?
Grandma, what are you doing here?
Yes, I want to ask you what are you doing here?
When at the crossroads Gorky and Lenin still
no traffic light, monsters!
What kind of traffic light?
Well, of course, how do you know?
You with your motorcade on the separation pret!
You need traffic lights like a bikini!
Grandma, stop it!
The signal is received, come on, scratch the sobs,
to the market, to the post office, take action. Come on.
What are you, granny?
I want to see your false children
I suppose you're lying, the bureaucrat's face, huh?
Vitya!
Victor, come on, come on, pull it out pull it out
otherwise you’ll die right here.
Maybe she gives birth?
Idiot! Give me some water!
Give grandma a hand!
Get out!
Bitch, it almost happened ...
Nothing, Grandma, it will succeed next time!
Alexandra Palna, did you call?
Hello!
Hello. Who are you?
And I'm a nephew.
Whose? Irina Matvevna?
Well, of course, Aunt Ira.
It’s strange. I was told that she has no relatives.
No, there is, here I am the last.
An old woman flew from Siberia to visit.
You never mind what, age after all.
Oh yeah don't you worry she’s a strong girl with us,
still survive with us. My name is Lyuba.
Me Sasha.
Very nice.
And me too. Very!
Who's that?
So this is your nephew,
from Siberia came to visit you.
I forgot everything again.
You are my dear! Well, do you recognize?
Yes, I’m your nephew, Sasha, aunt Il!
Sasha!
That's how we get acquainted three times a day.
You remind me of someone ...
And you know, you tell me too.
Young Jessica Lang from the movie Tootsie.
It's my favorite movie!
Come on? And mine too.
Who are you?
Aunt Il, stop it, you!
Check!
So stop, stop, stop, stop!
Ripened! Ripened!
We need to stage a musical!
- Brother, this is brilliant! - True?
Well, musical, don’t you know the musical?
Have you never seen? Well, Chicago?
Singing in the Rain?
Well, "Phantom of the Opera" to the extremes, I don’t know!
I'm only the last one
“To the extreme” I remember.
Cool! Go!
Break-dance is now everything, break-dance!
Here the button is on, it is off.
Yeah.
Well, why not understand here ?! Front, wrap ...
Yes yarn, do I need all this ?!
How do you know that cornflowers - my favorite flowers?
One, two, one, two!
Sexier, girls, sexier!
Why did you like it?
I didn’t like anything! And you I missed two loops!
Lived to gray hair But I did not learn how to knit!
The pills you have here, of course, are powerful.
Yeah.
Are you okay already?
Yeah.
What, let's go run?
Yes.
And look, I posted Vkontakte myself.
Wow yourself?
- Itself! - What a fellow!
Look, me too, well done, look!
Yes.
Too herself?
Of course you like it?
Well, beautiful!
- This yours! - What are you doing?
Well, my beauties, we are crouching.
One two Three. Well done, and now the legs!
Raise higher!
Well done, and now have jumped!
Like this!
We lie down and salute the sun.
Nephew Sasha.
In the hands of the bear is my heart. Now it's yours!
Baba - fire, fire!
I'm waiting for you on a date on Thursday on the terrace,
after a quiet hour.
Sasha! Thank you for the teddy bear
he is very sweet.
It's easy and fun for me but I must confess to you -
I have a boyfriend.
Well, why are you reading other people's letters?
This was handed over to my niece!
Wow, evil is not enough!
Yes Yes!
Alexandra, do not sleep?
I am alone on duty today. Something is somehow sad to me ...
Let's go chat?
So what if he is married! But he's so cool
he’s a whole boss, gives me presents,
appoints different appointments, makes surprises!
And in general he promised in divorce at the end of the month!
What kind of man is that?
Do not tell anyone!
This is the mayor of our city.
Who! Lavra? Lavrenov?
Yes, do you know him?
So, I heard ...
Well, butterflies, as they say in my stomach I don’t have it,
but as mom said
their crackers are better than other people's cakes.
Are you crazy?
Why do you need these rotten crackers ?!
You are a beauty!
Good, bright!
Sexy what!
Tits, ass!
It’s not possible to be with you!
Oh, Alexandra, you’re a woman, of course, fire.
If you were a man I would immediately fall in love with you!
Che, seriously?
You know i have there something i have something there.
Something is disturbing ...
On, be quiet! Lie down!
This Gucci belt.
Zadolbal with these metal plates.
Fuck a fly! Well, except your this Lavrenov
Anyone else in mind?
Well there is one guy.
He is the nephew of our one grannies, I came from Siberia ...
Well!
Another thing!
Listen, Siberia is a mystical place!
Such men live there!
So what, do you like him?
Like! So cool
cheerful, kind
You know, I’m drawn to him.
And he's crazy about you
Doesn’t sleep at night!
Yes?
How do you know that?
I feel it. I am these Siberians I feel from childhood
at the energy level.
I feel with all my feminine bosom.
He’s a good guy, he loves you.
So I don’t know him at all.
And this marriage of his Lavrenova, you directly know, yes?
You are a naive girl!
Your hands are gentle
just like my mom!
She woke me like that in the morning.
So right, good, calm.
Right all the problems disappear,
as if they had never been ...
Alexandra Palna!
What are you doing?
Tenderness overwhelms, as to a daughter!
Do you have your own children?
Probably not…
In the sense?
I can’t give birth.
I’m not going through women's affairs.
Che I just did not!
Blowing all these pipes all
all kinds of hormones lashed, but all to no purpose.
Well, nothing!
I'll be your daughter. I am from I feel some kind of kinship with you ...
In general, I am to people try not to get attached.
Then it’s very difficult to lose them.
You will not lose me.
Mom said that too
and then I was left alone
and the closest person I have
my son.
Do you know what I dreamed of becoming in childhood?
- By whom? - Singer!
True, I'm in public True, I'm in public.
Sometimes I even have dreams!
I'm in the spotlights.
Everyone applauds me and I'm not afraid of anything.
And what did you dream of becoming in childhood?
Soccer player.
Well, in the sense of women's football.
Well why not? He is fashionable now.
So, girls, "Pretty Woman" with Did you watch Julia Roberts?
So now I will make princesses of you.
Well this is what happens now, we
a la dear prostitutes?
Yes!
Hooray!
Oh, how beautiful!
How beautiful!
I wish these costumes are in the show, huh?
And whose is it?
This is the shop of Philip Kirkorov.
- Kirkorov? - What are you doing?
Bes, why are you breaking?
You are the only one left with us.
I won’t put on this cockerel.
What is this cockerel?
This is haute couture!
You will be a dude!
Yes, wear it zapadlo, do not persuade!
Stand!
In short, Bes!
Do you want me to agree to go on a date with you?
Well, are we standing? Years go by, but we are not getting younger!
We are working!
I have an idea! Nikolai Petrovich,
I seem to have found us a soloist.
No, Alexandra Palna, no, no, Alexandra Pallna, I will not.
You know, I don’t sing, I’m shy.
Listen to me, believe in yourself!
I don’t understand, is she singing?
- No, I don't sing! - She sings, she sings!
- Well then, come on! - Youth!
The sun,
life was rain yesterday.
The sun
this world is filled with warmth.
The shadow has scattered
and a new day came, to meet the sun
I'm flying,
you know
only i love you.
Yes, and glasses ...
2 more!
You paid 5 last time.
Raisa Ivanna. I'm yours Still a regular customer,
maybe do a discount?
Discount after three changes.
- Good evening! - Hello!
Sorry, it will be a little expensive for us!
There are no discounts for pensioners.
Or maybe I saved up a pension for half a year so that
try this your smelly foie gras?
Well, granny, let me put you in prison.
Yes, I can eat and standing.
Oops!
Woman!
Granny, this is actually a men's toilet!
I see, not blind.
Well, here you come out of men's toilet, woman!
Come on, dry your fountain, there’s a conversation.
- What? - Catch it!
And you, I thought you will I stroke the head?
So listen to me, married face
you have to part with Any, truncated?
Listen granny
What, did Corvalola get drunk?
Well, are you following me?
Can’t calm down.
Pokes his pussy in everyone
I can poke too!
Say thank you for not pissing.
Woman let me go!
He plunders the country, spoils young girls!
Goat Mug!
My maiden name is Emelianenko!
Listen, granny ...
Oh my God!
On the!
Well, I'll put you your traffic light on Lenin and Gorky, okay?
And on Gagarin?
Aren't you ashamed to offend old women, huh?
Thank you for not fucking, maniac!
How are you, cattle, about grandma?
Well done, come on, hit him!
Come on!
Come on, Bes!
And I say to my chief believer:
“Listen, godfather,
I can’t baptize children with you,
Fuck you! ”
What?
Decent boys at girls do not swear obscenities!
I agree!
Bes, something I can’t believe that you were sitting,
what are you these like him safes hacked, you're out, romantic!
ABOUT! Well, opened like seeds!
- Yes? - Yes.
Tell me, darling, for my sake still
one seed, the last, would click?
I already tied with these!
What about me? One?
And then we would be somewhere with you
we would go together to relax ...
To Yugoslavia!
Yes, for a long time it shook you in the zones, Bes.
Tell me, would you hack it?
I would now hack something else!
Come on? Ohrenel something, huh?
I agree!
What a woman!
Quiet me! We have recently
thefts became more frequent.
Pelagia’s smartphone is missing,
new, presented by a boyfriend ...
The groom!
Colonel's awards, oxygen cylinder.
Darth Vader, i.e. Igor Mikhalych,
Well, a bunch of all kinds of small things.
Nifiga yourself, small things - lam greenery!
It was made by one of his own,
therefore, everyone will answer!
Got me, Barbara Streisen fucking?
And if the thief we fed
will not return stolen things back,
specially trained people will understand
and dogs ...
Sanya! I seem to understand how to look for your money.
They are in the same place as the Pelagia phone!
Why are you looking like that?
Strange you, how old are you?
And how much would you give?
Are you injecting Botox?
Stitching!
Then 70!
Are you rude?
My woman Olya also stabs and looks better than you
and she is 75!
- Are you so smart? - Sasha, I can’t fasten.
- Please help me. - Yes of course!
I bought a console for Maxim you play then
and then go to sleep, okay?
Don’t worry, we can do it!
Yes, dope?
- Che there, stuck? - Yeah!
Where are you going?
On a date, in a restaurant.
Good luck!
My hand is light!
My beauty, listen please aunt shura, okay?
Do not offend her!
Thank you very much, you help me out like that!
Well, bye!
Bye Bye!
Mikhalych!
What happened?
Yes, work injury just recovered in the hospital.
Well, what are the fates for us in the village?
I’m looking for one pretzel here,
Alexander Rubinstein's name.
They say that it’s lying down in your city.
We ask you.
Ask around, decide?
Sing, what are you watching there for a movie?
Yes, some grandmothers are local
Kirkorov's shop robbed, here we are sitting, laughing.
Stop! Stop recording.
And like this? What do you beat like a woman? Look!
On the! Soaked on!
On the!
There is! I win!
Uh, uh, are you upset?
Do not Cry!
I have blood dope Meldonium is called.
You won this fight.
You are a winner, got it?
And now we go to sleep, winner.
Today we will sleep in my mother’s agreed?
There is! Let's go.
Alexandra Palna requested sit me with you.
Well, what about sitting idle?
Let me teach you while sharpen from a spoon?
Anything can come in handy in life, just for starters i'll go
I’m brewing it for you, do you want?
Not? In vain!
Cool thing, Kumarit ok, now you’ll try ...
To go nuts!
- Is that you? - Yes!
No, no, no, no, I'm in this I won’t give it, don’t even ask.
“Okay, Mashul ...” - Che called?
I want you to know the truth about his fiance.
Who is Masha? Vitya!
Girl, stop it!
Come on, come on!
Do not touch my hair!
Alexandra Palna?
Are you a lesbian?
There is a sin.
Awesome day!
Sasha, I'm sorry, but
I generally love men.
Just for what - I don’t understand.
They are all bastards!
Guys, you say?
Why, not Alexandra Pallna?
Are you Sasha?
From Siberia?
I’ll explain everything now, can I?
I’ll explain everything right now!
Get out of here, felon!
The liar is unhappy! He cannot give birth!
You’ll give me triplets now, freak! Pervert!
Did they all agree here? Bastards!
Get out, I said!
My queen!
It's time for business, the crew is filed!
So what is this Tour de France?
And what? Good car!
Oh, Bes!
Golden autumn, golden!
Bes, golden autumn like your white hair!
Nothing! But the soul is hot, Sasha!
And the ass is cold!
Hello hello!
Go from here, go from here, I say!
My you are golden!
And now to the left ...
Well done!
Bes, are you alive?
Bes, well, you piss me off!
Tadam!
Sanya! What is it for you? is your lipstick smeared?
Ah, this Bes escorted to the number,
restless.
Wow you are relaxing!
Yes, why?
I persuade Lil Pallnu with me wade through the Caribbean.
Married Lille Palne!
Why are you robbing a bank?
Yes, sort of ...
No, everything is legal.
Just got a well-deserved percentage from one transaction.
Come on? Did you find him?
Yes Yes!
Yes!
How glad I am, how glad I am!
Alexandra! I have a husband!
What are you doing?
Drag Queen Transvestite!
I’ll call the police now!
I'm sorry Lyubasha, listen to me, please!
I love you!
I now have money and a passport again
and I want to get you out of here!
Do you understand?
In the life of every person the moment of truth comes ...
When you lay on my lap
I did not care
where am i what am i wearing how much money do i have
and what will happen tomorrow.
I saw only your eyes.
And in them I saw everything I need in this life!
Or maybe God is with him, that he is a transvestite?
Look how pretty!
I understand that you do not know me at all.
I myself did not really know.
Didn't know i can that able to live for someone!
But this is happiness!
I want to live for you!
For you! For you and Maxim, do you hear?
Wait a moment!
Since the things that were stolen, found, then
we will not declare to the police
and give the floor to the thief,
the same eczema, so to speak
on the chest of our team.
I wanted to take her to the police,
but the manager didn’t give me.
Repent! Get up, get up, repent!
I apologize to everyone!
I'm not on purpose!
As a child, I didn’t take my things.
Doctors said it was kleptomania.
I'm trying to fight it
but I don’t always succeed.
Please forgive me!
You are shameless!
I understand who you are? See more kleptomania is still here
pulled in, huh?
Yes, we walk through the sailor silence,
so we have every second kleptomaniac!
Let’s let out the thief of all!
Who are you, got it?
Look, we will evaluate ourselves
Philip Bedrosovich, can you imagine?
We have a very extensive program: Children's choir,
fire brigade orchestra
initiative of the local police and,
after all, our boys and girls
will present the musical.
Boys and girls are you talking about the inhabitants.
Nursing home?
Of course, our boys and girls.
Well, where has she been for so long?
Well, why are you so worried? Can to be just something happened?
Hello!
Give the phone to Nikolai Petrovich.
Nikolai Petrovich, some boor wants you.
- Yes? - It will sound corny,
but your nephew is with us.
Who is it with us?
Bring money or I will shoot him eggs.
Waiting for you today, at three in the afternoon at ...
Did he hang up the phone?
Damn it, the battery is dead! Pelagia, come on, carry the battery.
Right now, Sanka will shoot the eggs ...
And where did Alexandra Palna get eggs from?
This bandit is so figuratively expressed.
Faster!
Do you know, I tell you a story I will tell you an interesting one.
One Catholic priest they asked him
please tell me have you heard so much
so many confessions are you about people know so much
What can you tell about us?
And you know, he said: “There are no adults.
. All adults are aged children who have something to hurt. ”
Hello? Bandits? Cutthroats?
On the!
Listen to you!
Right bank, 5 km.
There is still a high voltage tower and tractor.
I am waiting for you at 15:00 with money.
We can’t do it at 15, we have concert, uh, let it go early ...
You know, we have a concert, can it be early?
Are they there, did you really float?
Please guys well don't worry Pelagia, her heart is weak!
We won’t have time for the concert!
Then let's go in suits
save time on changing clothes.
Viktor Mikhalych, you are a former Colonel.
Yes.
Come on, command the parade.
Most likely, they will try to deceive us.
To this end, they are sure will arrive at the place in advance.
And we?
Our actions?
And we will arrive in advance in advance.
And how much in advance our advance
will be in advance than them in advance?
Pelagia, do not take out the brain!
Bes, you ride first and sit in ambush.
No problem! But I need a weapon.
What do you think will come to the shootout?
I hope so!
But you are not bzdi, we have a strong gang,
some thugs.
Go!
I can’t talk to you
I'm going to meet with bandits, all the best.
Oh, is that you?
Well, wait, wait, we will be soon.
The tower, the tractor ...
And here are the bandits ...
Thank!
What is going on?
This is the Beatles along the way.
Good day!
Grandmas brought?
Faster please we
late for the concert.
And you are definitely not taking it for yourself?
I do not quite understand what you mean.
Yes, you at least for some Do you understand the planet now?
Where is my nephew?
Everything, come on!
Well, it looks like your old men they don’t hold a word either, right?
They were already 16 minutes late.
It looks like you're a mischievous old woman ...
Where!
Stand, bitches!
Hands up!
What are you doing?
They always do that in the movies, I saw!
M, numb!
It's good!
We arrived at the wrong address.
This is the Left Bank,
and they are waiting for us on the Right Bank!
Well, what are you so missed?
Am I a sniper or something?
Just two letters wrong!
What to do now? How to save Sanka?
Maybe they will take powder?
This is the district ...
How many groups work here?
- Great! - Good day!
These bandits are so predictable!
Listen, this is a misunderstanding!
We were a little mistaken ...
Yeah, with a dosage.
- No, you do not understand me! - I understand everything!
I see the goods you have - a bomb?
Bomb!
Will you recount?
No, this is superfluous.
Let's go!
Yes, I never would have thought
that again I will trade in drugs ...
What does it mean - again?
Hey you fatal aunt
I certainly do not know how you did it,
but here dough for 200 thousand more bucks than it was.
Come on?!
Well, in gratitude for that you saved my life then
our profit is divided in half.
Che, seriously?
Sanya!
Well, youth! Here I am!
Let me kiss you, darling!
Yes, you are sick of it, Bes,
Well, how much can you ?!
Sanya, Sanya!
Dear friends! Greetings!
Congratulations on City Day!
Philip Bedrosovich, yours forever!
Today we prepared a passage from the musical,
You haven’t been killed yet?
Which is called so original.
Not yet.
- How are you? - I don’t know ... I think
I can’t get out, I'm afraid ...
You are crazy?
They are waiting for you! You will succeed!
Stop kissing me!
- Sorry! - Leave me alone!
- Well, come here! - Yes, you got it already!
The sun.
Life yesterday
it was raining.
The sun
this world is filled with warmth.
The shadow has melted
and a new day came.
Towards the sun
I'm flying, you know, only you
I love.
Oops!
These are my stolen suits!
That old man burns, huh ?!
The sun.
A bouquet of flowers burns in a rainbow.
The sun,
thanks for the dreams
and for love.
You give me everything
it’s warm in my heart.
Only with you
i want to be
you know only you
I love.
The sun,
your fire burns inside me
The sun,
everything from A to Z was revealed to us.
You are my bright light
my sunset and dawn
I only want to be with you.
You know only you
I love.
Well done old men! I feel sorry for them later will plant for a robbery ...
Of course we’ll put him, but not for the robbery,
and at the negotiating table.
I want a joint number with them.
And it will be called
"We"! Not. It will be called
"Me and them."
Having lived in a nursing home, I understood one thing
adults really do not exist.
We are all children because deep down we are all
we know how to dream, but dreams come true,
take my word for it!
That evening in Lyuba near Mitinsk her childhood dream came true
she overcame her stage fear
and since then loves to sing in karaoke.
Pelagia dreamed all her life get away from her alcoholic husband
and find true love.
So what if it finally happened in a nursing home at 75,
look at her - well Is this an adult?
Uncle Kolya thought he was dreaming of returning
in big show business and only after a big tour
of three concerts with Philip Bedrosovich
he truly realized that
his real dream It came true that night
in his hometown of Mitinsk.
Hello, Pyotr Afnasyevich, this is Kulagin.
Great, Senya!
Long time ago I didn’t hear something! As a young life?
Petr Afnasyevich, I have your flash drive.
In exchange for a flash drive and under the guarantee of the Colonel
I'm no longer on the federal wanted list.
And our nursing home is promised not to close
at least another 10 years.
Unfortunate flash drive was happy a twist of fate for us all.
Sorry, there were no cornflowers ...
One left.
Well you give!
Well, where are you from me so bad fell?
Do you want some tea?
I will.
Go on This is your chance!
Well, I thought I was dreaming run away to Barcelona
with a million bucks, but I realized
what really dreamed all my life
about the most banal family happiness,
which I have not had since childhood.
So what, what is my dream come true in the most commonplace
small apartment
and in the most commonplace small town is not land.
One, two, three - they started!
Well done!
I am Sanya Rubinstein
and that is my dream.
Congratulations!
Bitterly!
Alexandra Palna, can I have you a minute?
Bes, listen, you’re not mad at me!
Sorry!
Yes, I kissed you on the lips!
French! You are a room poodle!
Oh you!
Wait!
Where is my ring?